On this morning, Katherine and I checked into Hotel Kyjev, a Communist-era hostel with rather eccentric 60s nostalgia, among other interesting features. For one, they had round mirrors, crappy wood paneling, epically slow elevators, and a taxi in the lobby. Let me take the chance to elaborate on these elevators. Katherine took the opportunity to film the doors opening, as they moved at the kind of pace you would when waking up and taking a slow stretch. One time, when we could not resist our impatience for the elevator to climb to the sixth floor, we decided to take the stairs. All was good and well until, after reaching the first floor, we realized that there WAS NO EXIT. The stairs just kept descending with no visible end. We were too freaked out to see if there was a bomb shelter at the bottom, so we quickly trekked up to the first floor to take the elevator, only to find it open up to the people who were waiting with us on the sixth floor! We laughed about it a bit, and then explained that there was no way to get out of the stairs. Good thing we didn't need an emergency exit!
Our first sight-seeing adventure started with the church of St. Elisabeth, which is also named the "Blue" church. And most appropriately, it seems to be, considering that the entire church is painted in different shades of pastel blue, even on the inside. (see St. Elisabeth and the Miracle of the Roses)
We then took a stroll to Old Town Square (Hlavné Námastie) to see the historical building (Slovenské národné divadlo) and the various famous statues (Hans Christian Anderson, for one). Keep in mind that it was sweltering hot the whole day, and we were walking under the sun in the humidity and suffering a little. Thus, when we reached the Hrad (Bratislava Castle), all we wanted was some shade and breeze to save us from death by UV ray. Thus, we walked up to the castle, took a few pictures, and then sat (or fell asleep in my case) under a shade tree by the entrance. This was quickly interrupted by a gigantic semi truck (which we thought would not be able to make the clearance under the castle gate) and a horde of fat Austrian tourists who tried pitifully to avoid being squashed by the truck.
We decided to find refuge in a less crowded area, so we bought a pineapple popsicle and a grapefruit Fanta from a convenience store (for less than 2 euro!) and parked under a tree in the Grassalkovich gardens (Grasalkovičov palác), where we sat in the soft grass and watched a bird catch slugs. On this lovely adventure, I was intrigued by scattered remains of a dismembered pigeon, which fondly reminded me of Claire and her fascination with these rats with wings. As usual, I snapped a few photos for her enjoyment.
Katherine and I headed back to Old Town. On our way, we heard some music coming from the Primaciálny palác, so we stepped inside. Katherine was a bit wary, wondering if it was a private party or if we had to buy tickets. I noticed that no one was exchanging money, nor did anyone have a special ticket to get a plate a free food and a glass of wine, so I told her we should stand in line. She also worried that they would start talking to us in Slovak and we wouldn't be able to respond - we saw the police come to shoo away the homeless guys, and we didn't want a similar thing to happen to us, the tourist impostors. Luckily, we just smiled and walked down the table, picking up fresh cheeses and bread with olive oil, piling up our plates. We enjoyed watching traditional Slovak dancers sing to accordion music. It was wonderful!
After a relaxing afternoon under the shade, we went to the opera house to buy tickets to Lucrezia Borgia, the current production (see synopsis).
At last, we had dinner at Gazdovský Dvor, where I had halušky (like gnocchi) with cabbage, and Katherine had it with sheep's cheese. We ordered what they considered to be a carrot salad, but it turned out to be a bowl of shaved carrots with lemon and orange slices on the side. What amazed us was the price - we both had a main dish, a salad, a beer, and coffee, and the total was 17 euro!
Friday
Friday morning, we took the rickety bus to Hrad Devín (Devin Castle). All the while, we tried to figure out how to request a stop. The bus would violently jerk to a halt at various stops, open its doors quickly, honk, and then slam them just as fast. It took awhile for someone to request to get off; that was when we noticed that she pushed a button on the ceiling! In addition to being scared for our lives because of the bumpy ride, the middle-of-nowhere forest surroundings, and the lack of visible English, we were not comforted to know that the only way to get off of the moving bus was to jump up and push a button on the ceiling. We decided that there was no hope for Katherine, as she could only reach it when the bus was stopped. Good thing we were the last stop.
We arrived a little early, so we took a walk around the nature reserve, which was nice until we were viciously attacked by mosquitoes. We watched the hydrofoils cross the Donaj and the Morava rivers and noticed how the water color changed significantly at their intersection. At 10:00, the museum opened, and we bought student tickets (only 1.3 €). It was interesting, because you can tell how hard Bratislava tries to be an attractive tourist destination. The castle grounds were pretty cool, but they were rather scarce, considering Napoleon blew up the place in the 1800s. We were also suspicious about how much of the ruins were actually ruins and which were rebuilt.
Upon our return, illy (a Starbucks-type chain) was passing out free iced coffee (which was the point where we decided that Slovakians just liked passing out free stuff every day), which was refreshing after our hot bus trip. We ventured on to see the Pállfy palace museum, where they had a neat exhibit on Italian haute couture - dresses made for JLo and Naomi Campbell and a bunch of supermodels. We also went back to the Primate's Palace to see the hall of mirrors and tapestry museum, which was free for students. Finally, we stopped by the Pharmacy Museum at the Red Crayfish, which gained us access to the Museum of Arms and the tower that overlooked the city.
We stopped at a little café near the Hrad for a Greek salad and a Coke, and then back to the hostel to shower before the opera. Although the opera house was pretty and the tickets were cheap (5 € for balcony seats), the production didn't begin to compare with Vienna. I don't remember much of the opera, because it was in Italian and the subtitles were in Slovak, but I did notice the pit orchestra. There was one violinist in particular who was wearing a strapless black dress (which is NEVER done in a professional orchestra, mind you) and had this obnoxious red scarf over her chin rest. What bothered me most was that she came in late at every rest, barely moved her bow, and didn't turn the pages in time for her stand partner, even though it was her job. I have never seen a professional musician who faked the entire performance. And then I said to myself, "The guidebook said that the Bratislava opera was world class??" This is where my skepticism got the best of me. Katherine and I decided that she managed to get in based on good looks and made up stories about her fling with the conductor during intermission.
For dinner, we wandered in Old Town among the drunk stag partiers and the loud American tourists and managed to snag the last table at Pressburg before a couple behind us took it. There, we encountered way too many English speakers, which made us worried about how touristy the restaurant was. Needless to say, the Americans left, and our food arrived. To our enjoyment, the meal was fantastic. I had garlic soup, which is cream-based and traditionally comes in a bread bowl. Katherine had pumpkin cream soup, which was also delicious. I ordered a traditional cucumber salad, and we both had Topvar (Slovak beer on tap). It was a great meal for the price and the atmosphere, and we went back to the hostel with full stomachs and smiles.
What I learned
1. Garlic soup is amazing
2. Bratislavians like free stuff
3. Four inch heels are common, sensible walking shoes
4. Bring mosquito repellent
5. The UFO bridge only looks like a UFO when you see it in person
6. It is okay to apply deodorant while on the job at the post office. Don't expect better service.
7. If you buy animal postcards at a dumpy shopping mall, expect for the cashier to get excited and force you to take a bunch of free ones from a gigantic box. Also expect her to try to practice her English and tell you she lived in London for two years.
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